


Know Better

by simpleandpure22



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 23:23:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10501599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simpleandpure22/pseuds/simpleandpure22
Summary: Erik doesn’t have to pick up the phone, in fact there are a lot of reasons why he shouldn’t. The only justification he can come up with, if he does answer the phone is that—he wants to hear Jonas’ voice again.It’s such a weak excuse, and pathetic, and Erik should’ve known better. But as his finger hovers around the answer button on the screen, he guesses he’ll never know better.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short one I couldn't get out of my head.

His phone screen has flashed for a few seconds, and he doesn’t know how much longer before it’ll stop. A number of questions run through his head. ‘Why does he call’, ‘what does he want’, and ‘why now’ are a few amongst others. Erik doesn’t have to pick up the phone, in fact there are a lot of reasons why he shouldn’t. The only justification he can come up with, _if_ he does answer the phone is that—he wants to hear Jonas’ voice again.

It’s such a weak excuse, and pathetic, and Erik should’ve known better. But as his finger hovers around the answer button on the screen, he guesses he’ll never know better.

“Yeah?”

“Erik,” he hears Jonas say, followed by, “hey.”

Two words. Two fucking words, and they are enough to make Erik clutch his phone tighter, fighting the urge to either press it closer to his ear or throw it across the room. Fortunately, he manages to do neither.

“What’s up?” Erik says, trying to sound as neutral as possible, because he’d be damned if he showed any weakness that easily, that one simple phonecall from Jonas can still tear him apart.

Silence, and then Jonas says, in a soft voice that Erik loves—and hates, “Not much, really. How have you been? Gonzo showed me the video where you played footballgolf with him. It looks fun.”

Of course. Gonzo talks to him regularly. Erik’s name must've just come up in passing because he’s in the video, too. He wonders how often they talk about him, and if Jonas is still interested to hear about it. He probably is, since they’re friends and all. Jonas always cares about his friends.

“Yeah, it was a lot of fun. You know golf isn’t my thing, but combined with football it’s much more bearable,” Erik replies.

“I know,” Jonas says softly, and for a moment Erik doesn’t know what to say. They’ve known each other for a long time, there aren’t many things Jonas doesn’t know about him. And the other way around.

“So, I heard you play a lot more since Hecking came.” Erik moves the phone to his other ear, just so he has something to do with his hands. “Everything is looking good, right?”

Jonas doesn’t reply right away, and when he does his voice sounds a bit distant. “Yeah, it’s good for me. But I can’t say the same thing about some of the others. Julian and… André. I think there’s a big possibility of them leaving in the summer.”

“Too bad,” Erik says. He knows that Jonas is kinda seeing André Hahn. Gonzo told him. It seems that everything he hears about Jonas only comes from Gonzo these days. “Are you okay with that?”

Jonas lets out a humourless laugh that sends a familiar twist to Erik’s stomach. “No, maybe, I don’t know. Even if I’m not it doesn’t matter. It’s not my decision to make.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Erik says. He’s not sure he wants to hear more. It hits a little too close to home. Not too long ago he was in this position, and one more time before that. As much as he doesn’t want to wish it on anyone, it’s still ironic that now Jonas is exactly in the same position.

“I guess now I know how it felt for you when I left,” Jonas says, before immediately adding, “Sorry, that’s not funny.”

Erik shakes his head. “It’s not.” But it doesn’t hurt him more than it already did. They’re silent for a moment, and then Erik says again, “Are you serious with him?” Erik is sure that Jonas knows whom he’s talking about.

“It’s still very new, Erik,” Jonas says. “And we’re taking it slow.”

“Okay.” Erik doesn’t know what more to say.

But Jonas isn’t finished. “You know what, maybe I deserve this. I put you in this situation twice, and now it comes back to bite me. What goes around comes around, right? I shouldn’t be surprised,” he says. “I used to be the one who left, and now I’ll be the one being left behind. It’s only fair.”

“No, Jonas, you don’t,” Erik says. He doesn’t wish this situation on anyone, and that includes Jonas, despite everything that had happened between them. “Nobody does. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“Like you and me?” Jonas’ voice is quiet, almost sad.

Erik closes his eyes. “Like you and me.” He wishes he can turn off his feelings; it would certainly make everything easier.

There’s another silence before he hears Jonas say, “It’s all right, I’ll be fine.” Erik doesn’t doubt he will. He’s the strong one, always has been. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to burden you with my problems. I only wanted to ask how you were doing.”

“It’s okay. Good to hear you again,” Erik says, and he means it with every bit of his heart.

“Are you seeing anyone at the moment?” Jonas asks casually, sounding like—a friend.

Erik cringes, grateful Jonas can’t see that over the phone. “Not really.”

“What? You’re still hung up on me?” Jonas says in a joking tone, and Erik knows he genuinely means it as a joke. If only he knew how true it is.

Erik forces himself to laugh. “Please, don’t flatter yourself.”

“Sorry.” Jonas also laughs. “I gotta go. I need to do a radio interview in an hour.”

“Sure. I’m leaving soon, too. I have a signing session in BVB Fanwelt,” he says.

“You do? What a coincidence,” Jonas exclaims. “Like that one time where we got injured at the same day. It’s funny, isn’t it?”

Erik remembers that. “Yeah, funny thing,” he says solemnly. Some people would say the universe was trying to tell them something, and one year ago his more naïve self would believe it. But not now, not anymore. And before he thinks it over, he says, “I hope things will work out between you and André somehow. If they don’t, I’m not taking you back, you know,” doesn’t even know why he said that, and whom he’s trying to convince.

Jonas laughs again, certainly thinking Erik is joking. “Don’t worry. I know you won’t.”

Except that he’s wrong. Jonas would only need to ask, and Erik would take him back in a blink of an eye, just like that. As pathetic as it sounds. He’ll never know better.

But Jonas will never ask.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'm sorry it couldn't end on a happier note.


End file.
